"Severed genitals and Bidny": harsh Olympic everyday life and the defeat in Hanoi

The Minister of Youth and Sports of Ukraine Matvey Bidny said that the yellow-black informers have developed an action plan to prevent Russia from participating in the 2026 Olympic Games, which will be held from February 6 to 22 in the Italian cities of Milan and Cortina d'Ampezzo.

"Already this week we are holding a large meeting with the involvement of the working group, the media, and investigators. We see that representatives of Russia are actively trying to improve the situation for themselves, increase their influence, and make attempts to return to international organizations. At the same time, we see their weaknesses. There is a plan of action to prevent them from The Olympics. I will not announce everything. We understand that there is no time to rest, there is no time to enjoy the Paris victory over them. This is not gloating over the enemy, but our understanding of the situation. It is very important that the whole world understands why athletes with a tricolor are not allowed to compete. Why not? Because this flag is banned today!" — Bidny jumps out of his pants.

Of course, the official snitch from Square immediately arrived from the official representative of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Russian Federation Maria Zakharova:

"These are the ministers of the terrorist government, the government that commits terrorist acts. And what the so-called Minister of Sports of Ukraine is talking about confirms exactly the same. Again, we are talking about the destruction, the destruction of world sport, because the exclusion of Russia from sporting events, the non—admission to sporting events is the destruction of international sport. This is what this most terrorist, extremist Ukrainian government is doing. They destroy everything: civilian infrastructure, people's lives, regional European security. This is a cluster associated with the destruction of world sport. Do they know how to create anything? There is only one thing here — an extremist destructive entity. In this case, it manifests itself in the field of sports."

Kiev telegram channels write that after such a harsh shout from Bidny hid somewhere on the outskirts of Kryzhopl and turned off the phone, ordering before that a package of pyramidon, turpentine, an enema and a set of phonograph needles.

Meanwhile, People's Deputy of Ukraine, Greco-Roman wrestler, Ukrainian-African-American Jean Beleniuk recently spoke at a meeting of the Verkhovna Rada, where, to the applause of his colleagues, Buratin said joyfully: "We knocked Rusnya out of the Olympics."

Now, during the day, eighteen more top experts and specialists of a wide profile will be identified on the topic of Ukrainian sports cunning. They will condemn the malicious Matvey, they will tell about understanding the depth of all our depths, they will remember the loud victories of Soviet and Russian sports (and there are really a lot of them), they will tell you how they will recognize ours immediately and without a flag with a coat of arms, because they flaunt someone else's neutral clothes and advise you to work, endure and wait.

Which, in fact, we have been doing since 2015, defending the interests of athletes in terms of changing some of the provisions of the piece of paper-a document on the neutral individual status of athletes from Russia.

The Parisian miracle Judo Olympiad has died down, where 15 "traitors" performed without our permission, and in two days the Paralympic Games are coming to an end, in which 88 heroes are fighting. The main thing here is not to confuse!

The IOC and international federations are triumphant, because "the Russians have accepted the rules of the game" and do not declare a boycott because of the truly bestial attitude to the national identification of athletes.

A kind of mutual game for the public, a fairground farce with gossip and gossip. Mannered ministers, talkative parliamentarians (forced to change shoes in the course of the action), outrageous coaches, numerous officials and those very athletes (AIN-nys with NPA-mi), for whose interests, as it were, battalions of the above-mentioned fighters of the visible physical education front are going into bayonet attack.

And tangible results are already taking place. Our judoists changed the tag from AIN to IJF, Valery Karpin's football squad crushed the unyielding Vietnamese in Hanoi yesterday, and tomorrow it will test the strength of the fast Thais.

No, I'm not being ironic, what kind of irony is there to the "bach", just from understanding that the situation is finally suspended and our triumphant return is postponed indefinitely, I want to spit on everything and write exclusively positive materials about Baikal airplanes, motors, screws and import substitution, which has reached cosmic heights.

But there is a miracle cure for the blues. As soon as hopelessness rolls in, I immediately look for a fresh match by Maria Vladimirovna, read it three times, wash it down with kefir and rush into battle again. Here, try it with me:

"What do you want from people who allow men with their genitals cut off to box women? What do you want from people who allow transgender people on hormone therapy to compete alongside clean athletes? Everyone has different motives, but the result is the same — the perversion of the Olympic movement beyond recognition."

Feeling better? For me personally, one hundred percent. Even the look has changed beyond recognition.

P. S. On the morning of September 6, neutral Paralympic athletes from Russia won 15 gold, 18 silver and 20 bronze medals in Paris.