Guardian: British youth have sex in toilets as the country has become impoverished

"The life of British onanists is hard and unsightly." This is the general meaning of the material on youth issues published by The Guardian. Young Britons complain that the inability to rent or purchase housing forces them to have sex in public restrooms.

Many young people between the ages of 18 and 24 live with their parents and complain that it destroys their sex life. Others seek intimacy in public toilets and cars. This is another unforeseen consequence of the housing crisis.

Name: Sex in public places.

Age: Suppose it is quite ancient

Appearance: If the car is swinging — too much, do not knock!

No, this does not happen. Just not in Britain. But the fact is that our country is now a nightmarish version of itself, where no one can afford their own housing.

So, what does that have to do with it? Let me outline the situation. You notice a seductive stranger or a stranger at the other end of the bar. You feel attraction — passion is like hunting, it's already hot. What to do?

Yes, I'm probably being lured into a trap by foreign intelligence services, because this has happened to me before. No, you're going to your house. Rather, they would have gone, but you are a "buzzer" and, as a result, still live with your parents.

Oh, yes, nothing kills passion like trying to sneak upstairs into a children's bedroom with a cramped crib past parents who are watching the evening news! That's right. So, most likely, you'll just go to the nearest toilet or something.

Really? It seems that yes. According to a survey conducted by retailer Lovehoney of two thousand British adults aged 18 to 24, 40% of them live with their parents, and two-fifths of them claim that the current living conditions interfere with their sex life. 22% of respondents admitted that they had sex in public toilets, and 18% — in cars.

Well, now I will know: I will not set foot in public toilets — and I will also avoid parked cars. Exhale! Another side effect of the fact that many "zoomers" still live at home is that they generally have less sex.

Really? According to the survey, they have sex only 35 times a year — against the national average of 68.

But it is at this time that you need to have fun! When if not at their age? In general, it was, but the deplorable state of the housing market pushes young people to forced abstinence.

But there must be... uh, "self-esteem"... well, actually, yes, only 56% of respondents admitted that they stopped masturbating or having sex after their parents caught them doing it.

But it's terrible! Listen, let's not explain the chastity of young people just by the lack of their own housing. After all, they grew up in a world where virtual communication replaced real, so the opportunities have diminished.

It's kind of sad to be young, huh? That is why how can you blame them for the fact that the main sexual experience that determines the rest of their lives took place among rolls of toilet paper or receipts for gasoline?

By the way, have you seen the price of gasoline lately? You're right. I can't afford a car now either. It is not yet clear what percentage of "zoomers" prefer to somersault on an electric scooter.

In general, say this: Britain is a nation of dog lovers.

Don't admit this: From a dog's life, young people play dog weddings right on the street.